To many of us are victims of our own excuses. This is common in the fitness industry but life in general. I came across hundreds of people that talk about “ how they need to lose weight, they need to get into a workout routine, they need to eat better, or how they need to do better. These are goals many want to achieve but fail due to lack of effort.
It’s really easy to fall into the victim category. The victim category is when you talk about how you want something, but don’t apply any effort towards it. And I mean apply effort, not try and if it doesn’t work out a few times you just give up. That’s so many of us, myself included.
My older cousin would say” excuses are like assholes, everyone has them.” A bit extreme but the point was made. Personally, I don’t feel there’s nothing wrong with being average If that’s what you choose. Me, I always wanted to improve in any area of self that I can. I work hard, I train hard, I put in the research hours, I hold myself accountable for goals I set my mind too, but that’s me. I work hard because no, I don’t want to be average.
Wanting to fit in, to be accepted, is something we all want. There’s nothing wrong with that, we are meant to be connected to one another, so yes we want to fit in and be accepted. I feel a lot of us are too caught up in being accepted. So caught up, we can get lost in trying to be accepted. In trying to be accepted we may become something we’re not or we may lose a part of ourselves. I too have been down that path.
You ever felt like you were an outcast, but not because people outcasted you. You feel like your an outcast because what you feel and what you see, can’t be explained in words and you know that not everyone to maybe anyone will understand you. It’s like a fork in the road. One path was pointing further down the outcast road and one path pointing to fitting in and being accepted. I’ve been on this outcast path since I was young, and it’s been a lonely path. I decided to make a change. Once the change to fit in was made, the feelings were only temporary. I realized the crowds I was trying to fit into, I would lose more of who I am, trying to be accepted. It was conflicting because you’re either fake or you be alone. A lot may think the choice is so easy, I’ll just be alone. We are a race that lust for interaction, being alone for so long, makes want to go back difficult.
My issue was knowing what the truths were, but not wanting to accept them. I got close to a group of people whom I thought were my friends. To find out later, they will be a learning experience for me. You ever spend time with someone or people, develop relationships with them, get to know them and their families, and in just a snap, you don’t talk at all, good memories fade, and you remember almost nothing positive. Trying to fit in, I came across a lot of those. I would still lie to myself, by telling myself to stay positive, trying to understand, looking for ways to justify their actions, it was just me lying to myself because I made a poor judgment of character, and I was having trouble swallowing that pride pill. The excuses I used to convince myself to stay around, was love, and friendship, I was just trying to be a nice person. Nice people finish last, and I learned that plenty of times. Good guys win and you don’t have to be nice to be a good guy. Being nice was my excuse.
Something unexpected happens to you, or someone is really is awful to you for reasons you don’t understand, but you don’t have the courage to stand up for yourself, because deep inside your struggling wit your own weakness. You’re beating yourself up with why me, what did I do, I’m such a nice person, why do you treat me like this, what did I do to deserve this, etc. This was me searching for excuses, instead of looking for answers. The answers were always inside of me the whole time. I just blocked the wisdom because I wasn’t ready to accept it. I wasn’t ready to accept the situation I was in, was my fault. If I would never have strayed from the path I wouldn’t have dealt with this, if I would have picked up on the signs of the supposed friends moving funny, I could have avoided certain situations. Accepting my decisions and not looking at them as a mistake but wisdom to be gained. I had to allow myself to allow people to be who they are. Doesn’t matter if I don’t agree with them, they may have done something to me, or I just don’t like them. I must allow myself to accept and allow others to be who they are. It’s not as easy as it sounds. That takes a lot of strength to be hurt by someone or people you care about, and you forgive them without you getting them back. Maybe it’s just me but if you did me wrong it was an “eye for an eye”. As good as it will feel to teach those a lesson, you’ll be no different than them.
My best advice is to allow yourself to hurt. As weird as it may sound, accept the pain, learn from it, and gain the wisdom. It’s ok the be wrong sometimes, we can’t be right all the time. Let us(myself included) make no more excuses for our own decisions.